Depression...

For 2 yrs , I have been battling what you call depression.I am sorry for lying to my classmates that I was happy but as a matter of fact I was not, even though they try to make me happy by going to there trips but I was not, as a matter of fact I was out of place with them , and i feel disgrace that i hid something from them.I was angry at myself because i could not find ways how to feel happy out myself. Now I admit that I am mentally ill. I always believed that I am nothing , not worthy of having friends because I feel I am pathetic and full of nothing. For the 3 friends I lost , I am sorry, I relied on intuition, I did not know it was a joke , I thought you tried to make me angry because I was trying to kill the fun but as a matter of fact , I was not , I was highly concerned of this so called fun because I did not want you to get into trouble , because sometimes you guys get too far and you do not realize it. I guess one thing is for sure , I do not deserve to be a friend..

I hope they can read this, and sorry from hiding things..